GROW THROUGH CONFLICT
Don’t Let Conflict Destroy Your Team
Leadership turns the threat of conflict into an opportunity
Resolving conflict is a crucial responsibility of leaders. Referring to an observation of Prussian General Clausewitz, Statesman James Baker noted that in war, “the simplest things become difficult, and uncertainty rules.” The same is true of conflict in relationships and teams. What starts between two people leads to team members picking sides. Eventually, the friction grows beyond the team’s purpose. Unresolved conflict festers and spreads, damaging cooperation, goodwill, and eventually progress. It’s destruction from within.
Diversity improves the effectiveness of teams, but while those differences can strengthen team creativity and decisions, they can also create the opportunity for conflicts. Just as important as diversity, strong teams foster relationships, communication, and interpersonal skills as a foundation for managing conflict.
Foster relationships. Help team members build relationships. Put a human face on it by encouraging them to get to know each other, share stories, have fun together, create shared memories, enjoy meals together. It is difficult to dislike someone over laughs.
Improve communication skills. Encourage healthy and respectful debate — Model disagreement without being disagreeable. Leaders must address conflict (ignoring it makes it worse); But, how matters. Make sure everyone’s voice is heard (you may have to help some).
In “Radical Candor,” Kim Scott teaches that leaders care deeply enough to speak truth — A crucial skill in resolving conflict. Scott’s focus is on leaders giving team member feedback, but two key principles apply to teams, as well. First, leaders consistently speak the truth in a way that is clear, unambiguous, understandable, & meaningful. No hinting. Second, leaders speak that truth with genuine care and sincere respect. When done well, these conversations are healthy for relationships and results. These principles are effective both in the workplace and at home. I recommend the book, but you can begin with her keynote (32 minutes). It’s worth the investment. See http://bit.ly/2J2OUYL.
Increase self and other awareness to improve interpersonal interactions. We all have different personalities, learning, and thinking styles, which impacts how we relate and communicate. The more we understand our natural tendencies, and can identify those of our teammates, the better we can adjust how we deal with each other to improve our effectiveness. As we build relationships, some of this will become clearer. There are also a variety of instruments we can use to facilitate it, like Myers-Briggs, DISC, Birkman, and Hogan. They can create both a learning and fun experience for the team.
As a leader, resolving conflict is as important as any other role. Many fear conflict and avoid it. Leaders embrace it as an opportunity to improve team understanding and deepen relationships.
Kevin D. Phillips is on a mission to help leaders improve organizational results by investing in the people who create them. He is a consultant, executive coach, and teacher. Connect at www.KevinPhillips.com or on social media at www.HowdyKevin.com.
